How To Master & Use The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People (Part 2)

We continue our series on how to use and master the 7 Habits of highly effective people. In PART 1, we got an overview of the Habits and also went into detail about Habit 1. You have now mastered how to be proactive and create change using the inside-out approach. We now move on to Habits 2, 3 and 4 which are, begin with the end in mind, put first things first and think win/win.

Habit #2 Begin With The End In Mind

To begin with, the end in mind requires that you start everything you do with a clear understanding of your destination. It requires that you begin with clarity about where you currently are and then determine where you want to go. The main aim of this habit is to avoid getting caught up in the busyness of life climbing the ladder of success only to get to the top and discovering your ladder is leaning against the wrong wall.

I have argued before that each of us needs our own definition of success. “When you take time to define what success looks like for you, you are essentially beginning with the end in mind.“When you take time to define what success looks like for you, you are essentially beginning with the end in mind.”You are clear about what is important to you and everything you do in life helps you to move towards the definition you have set for yourself. In order to arrive at the correct definition of success.

The Two Creations (Mental and Physical Creation)

Habit #2 is based on the principle that most things are created twice. First, there is the mental creation where you begin by visualizing what you desire. Secondly, there is the physical creation where what you visualized is manifested. In order to be effective, you need to take charge of the first creation. You need to develop your own self-awareness and take responsibility for your mental creations. Failure to do this means you are by default giving power to other people and circumstances outside your circle of influence to shape your life.

Habit #2 also requires that you write or create the script upon which your life should be based. This you can do through imagination where you visualize the uncreated worlds of potential that lie within you. In order to do this, you need a paradigm shift where you move from what you are accustomed to and create a new script that will bear the results you desire.

The Personal Mission Statement

According to Covey, the most effective way to practice Habit #2 is to create a personal mission statement (PMS). A PMS is a philosophy or a creed that focuses on who you want to be (your character). It also encompasses what you want to do (contributions and achievements you wish to make and attain). Finally, it shows the values or principles upon which what you want to be and do are based.

Given that we are all unique human beings, we all have different PMS. What is certain however is that a PMS is often the basis upon which you live your life. You can call it your north star. In order to properly craft your PMS, you need to begin at the centre of your life.

Your centre is essentially made up of four things;

(i) Security which represents your sense of worth or identity or your personal strength.

(ii) Guidance which is the source of direction in your life.

(iii) wisdom which is your perspective on life. It represents your understanding of how the various parts and principles apply and relate to each other. It includes judgment, discernment, and comprehension.

(iv) Power which is the strength and potency to accomplish something. It is also the vital energy to make choices and decisions. It is what you tap into to get rid of old habits and embrace new ones.

These four factors are interdependent and when they are present in your life, they create a balanced character and an integrated individual. Although your centre can be your family, spouse, work, possessions, money, friends, church, or yourself. It is advisable that you have a principle-centred life which encompasses all these centres. When you centre your life on principles that are unchanging, you create a fundamental paradigm of effective living.

Habit #3 Put First Things First

Habit #3 deals with life and time management it is the practical fulfillment of habits #1 & #2. In Habit #1 you are the creator, you determine what your script will be. In Habit #2, you imagine or visualize your potential and make a mental creation of what you want your life to be. Habit #3 is about the physical creation. It is where you exercise your independent will and determination to live a principle-centred life.

According to Covey, we spend time in one of the four ways as shown in the matrix above. There are two factors that define an activity that is urgent and important. Urgent means it requires immediate attention. Urgent matters are often visible and insist on action. In most cases, they are also very pleasant, fun and easy to do. However, they tend to be unimportant.  Importance, on the other hand, has to do with results. Important things tend to contribute to your PMS, your values, and high priority goals. Important matters that are not urgent often require more initiative and proactivity.

In order to effectively practice habit #3, you need to be clear about what results you want so that you focus on the important and avoid being drawn into the urgent.

The Four Quadrants

Quadrant I deals with both the urgent and important. These tend to be crises or problems that require immediate attention. Usually living in this quadrant makes you a crisis manager or a deadline-driven producer. Quadrant III deals with the urgent but not important stuff. People who spend their time in this quadrant are the ones who deal with urgent matters that are the priority of other people. Quadrant IV, on the other hand, is for the not urgent and not important stuff. People who spend time in this quadrant tend to live irresponsible lives.

In order to be effective, one has to focus on quadrant II which is the heart of effective personal management. Given the fact that from time to time you may need to address the activities in quadrant I, you need to devise means of shrinking the quadrant I activities. In order to do this, in the words of Covey, “you need to decide what are our highest priorities and have the courage-pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically to say no to other things”. He reminds us that the enemy of the \”best\” is often the \”good\”. I have shared about how you can say NO and not feel bad about it.

In order to effectively operate in quadrant II, you need to focus on being effective as opposed to being efficient. The latter focuses on quantity while the former focuses on quality.  Working effectively will require that you fill each minute of your day with something that is important. This can be achieved by following four key activities;

(i) identify which roles you have to play both professionally and on a personal level. After you have done this, indicate which particular areas you would like to invest your time and energy in those roles.

(ii) Conduct a selection by zeroing down on 2 – 3 important results you need to accomplish in each role during the next week.

(iii) Create a schedule of how you will handle the tasks that need to be done to achieve the goals you have set.

(iv) Have a daily review of your schedule and then perform the tasks you have scheduled.

Habit # 4 Think Win/Win

Unfortunately, the majority of people have grown up being exposed to the win/lose mindset. Parents are often comparing their children either to their siblings or their peers. As a result, people grow up knowing in order for me to win someone must lose. However, through work and effort, this can be changed. Another mindset that tends to show up when two people with a win/lose mindset interact is lose/lose. Some people are so bent on ensuring that the other party loses that they are prepared to lose too. Covey shares an example of a couple in a divorce settlement who were required to share all assets equally. The husband sold the assets at ridiculously low prices. He did this so that the wife would not get anything. The problem, however, was that he too lost in the process.

Covey points out that anything less than win/win in an interdependent reality is a poor second best. This will have an impact on the long-term relationship. He advises that if you cannot arrive at a win/win you are better off going for a no deal.

Dimensions of the Win/Win Mindset

Given the fact that possessing a win/win mindset requires a lot of mutual understanding. There is a lot of courage needed to arrive at this point. It involves five interdependent dimensions of life. These are character, relationships, Agreements, structured systems, and processes.

In order to arrive at win/win mindset, you have to be a person of character. This requires that you begin by keeping the commitments you make to yourself and to others as well. Being a person of character also requires that you act with maturity. Maturity is the balance between courage and consideration. You need to be able to put forth your case courageously but also have consideration for the case of another person.

Character also requires that you have an abundance mentality. This means you need to have the paradigm that there is plenty out there for everyone. It also means believing that one person’s success is not at the exclusion or expense of others.

A win/win mindset also requires that you relate well with others. This is where the emotional bank comes in. An emotional bank account is a metaphor to describe the amount of trust that’s been built up in a relationship. It is the feeling of safety you have with another human being. You can make deposits in this account through courtesy, kindness, honesty and keeping commitments. By doing this, you are keeping a reserve. Doing the opposite is overdrawing the account.

After you have dealt with your relationships next comes the Agreements. In win/ win agreements, you take care of the results you desire. You also identify the resources that will be required to get those results. Agreements also allow you to set up accountability parameters as well as the consequences that flow from not enforcing the Agreements.

The final two dimensions of win/win are having systems and processes that support it. This entails always separating the people from the problem. It also requires that you focus on interests and not on the positions of the parties. The systems and processes should also be aimed at inventing options for mutual gain that can benefit both parties.

Finally,

As we have seen above, habit #2 requires that whatever you set your mind to do, you always begin and keep the end in mind. When you do this, you will ensure that you are able to stick to your plans. The methods of achieving that plan may change but the plan remains the same. In Habit #3 we have discovered that when you are clear about what your priorities are, you are able to put first things first. As you work at being effective, always keep the Pareto principle in mind. That is 20% of your work is what will give 80% of your results. Simply put, remember less is always more. In Habit #4 we discovered that when you always look for the third alternative which takes into consideration what you and others want you will always arrive at win/win situations.

In the final part of this series, we shall look at Habit #5 (Seek first to understand then be understood) Habit #6  (Synergize) and Habit #7 (Sharpen the Saw).

I would love to know what has been your take away from Part 2 of this series. Please share in the comments section. Also please share this series on the social media sites so that together we can become more effective people.